Hanu

should be about a year now...
yah i kinda remember..
its about this time last year when she left our house..
guess 4 1/2 years being together isn't that easy to forget... haha..

time flies so fast..
it just seems yesterday..
i'd wake up with my arms aching..
as she crawls up in my shoulders fast asleep..
i'd set my alarm 30mins before id really get up
so i could have time to look at her sweet sleeping smile..
my arms can get sore everyday..
but i can never think of any place my arms could be
at those times of the day..

she was my princess..
she was my everything.. [maybe still is?.. haha ]

there were times i work night shifts..
but when i get home early in the morning
i'd make sure she has her breakfast ready.
and at times her lunch as well..
before i leave in the evening,
she'll just be eating her dinner when she arrives..

no need to do the laundry
coz ever since we have it washed elsewhere..
we argue sometimes about the dishes though.. haha
she can say she also cleans the house..
but i clean it most of the times.. [wanna argue about it? haha ]

she was smart, sweet, caring and thoughtful..
being around her completes me...
we can just sit in a starry night..
be in each other's arms whole night..
and care less about the world..

we love to eat..
we try different kind of dishes..
but nothing beats pizza hut for us.. haha
she loves cheeze... stuff crust and all that..
we'd compromise to get what we want..
when she gets to make her cheese stuf crust..
i'd get the meat lovers part..
aside from the take outs
and the dine in's sometimes twice a week
spendin about a thousand bucks each time
coz we eat a lot.. haha
we cant seem to get enough of it..

we love to play MMORPG..
actually, she was the one who introduced me to it...
forced me to play it.. haha
got me hooked into it..
that until now im still addicted to it...
believe it or not..
we spent more than a year just bumm'n around..
playing MU after her graduation.. haha..
played almot 24/7, handled a faction,
even earned a lot from it.. haha :)

she also got me into anime..
belive me, i was already in college
and i've never even known about it...
now im still loooking forward
to the coming episodes of bleach, naruto and others..
also looking for new anime series to watch.
she draws.. i love her drawings..
made me draw too..

i never wanted her to work after her graduation..
kinda gettin more than enough already for us..
but she isn't that type..
she'd never agree to just stay home..
we even stayd at the same company at one point..

like the usual couple..
we've had our ups and downs..
been here, done that, went there...
and of course..
the question that youve been wanting to ask...
what happened?

dont worry coz even till noweven i havent figured that out too.. hehe
guess it was me..
maybe i wasnt good enough for her..
maybe i was foolin around too much..
she got into a relationshipwith her office lockermate..
i remembered she told me oncetheir number lock code's 143..

i didnt ralize untili found her diary
and shealready got her eyes on him..
she said it was nothin
she just like him and they werent together or something..
i should have known better..

we made a promise to each other when we started
that if when this thing happens,its the end of everything..
it should be like that but..
i was lost there at that moment..
didnt know what to feel..
didnt know how to react..
guess i havent really ever thought about it.

i had a feeling it wasnt serious with them..
i couldnt believe she'd lose what we have
for more than 4 years in just a couple of months..
they said the guy was a nobody..
broken english.. good for nothing.. really dumb..
called themselves like they were kim and gerald..
i swear i laughed my stomach out when i heard it..

she was a cool, strong willed..
she was the brains of her whole school..
we argue diggin our brains out of each other..
nobody beats the two of us when we are on our game.

i just dont know what really happened..
got me laughing and angry at the same time.
our friends told me to give her a chance..
i wasnt even sure i could give her up..
so we stil got together...
but day by day .. we fell apart..
they officially became together..
we were stil under one roof..
she was stil beside me in our bed..
then she said it was already inappropirate..
so she packed her bag.. and left.

i know i should be long over these..
but she never took with her all her things..
she just brought with her like a bag when she left
and lived with her friend..
95% of her stuff's stil in our house..
maybe she just wants me to think or change something..
or maybe im just thnking too much..
maybe she wants to leave all memories behind..
maybe i just dont wanna belive that she has left..
maybe.. just maybe..

i still miss her... a lot.
all i can hope is for her to be doing okay.
im writing all these down here..
coz from these point on..
i wanna leave things behind..
but i dont wanna forget.
she's been so special.
so im keeping all the memories and feelings here.
right here.